It's good that Charlie finally found his kidney.
Very well animated, as always.
Not bad, but could be improved
The animation is decent and the art style shows promise, especially given that it's created within Flash which can prove to be difficult for artists without as much talent.
My only real thing that kept bugging me about this is the fact that the dialogue was poorly done. I'm not talking about the voice recording quality or the voice acting (although I would recommend that in the future you recruit people in SBB via the Voice Actors club to cover some of these roles, because the same person doing all voices is tricky); instead, it's the way the dialogue was written. You had an interesting idea going on, but the dialogue, including the narration, sounded very stereotypical and comic-book-ish, which is a big turnoff to me personally (mostly when Hollywood does it, though). Even if the story is within a fantasy genre, dialogue should be written the way people would say it to each other.
To use an example, if Nanaki was attacked by a remnant of Sephiroth, you don't need 3 characters talking about it like that. Instead, improvise and show the attack happening, but leave the "remnant" idea to mystery for the characters to have to find out.
Two useful keys to screenwriting that I've found by analyzing the work of others is: 1) when it comes to dialogue, pretend you are the character speaking in that setting, and write what you would normally say if you were that kind of person in that kind of setting, and 2) when it comes to knowing what to and what not to show in your production, imagine yourself as a viewer going to the movies to see your film, and ask yourself all throughout your development: "If I was watching my own film as just an average viewer, what would -I- want to see? What would I want to see in this scene? What would I want to see overall?"
Just some food for thought. I usually don't review flashes because many flash artists can take an ounce of criticism, but the reason I felt compelled to review yours is because I can see a lot of potential that just needs some honing.
Good luck in your future endeavors.
wow man thanks for taking all that time to review my flash best review ever xDDDD!!! i know what your saying and will use this to improve my flash work xDDD
I'm sure that was a lot less than 52,000,000 cards, but the ideas still the same.
I found it kind of funny that something so simple could be entertaining. It just goes to show that not every flash has to be epic to be good.
Three cheers for originality
I have to admit that I usually open new entries with a sort of expectancy of blamming it for being hanusly retarded, but I was awestruck by this work.
It displayed such heavy originality and used ones senses to unfold a simple story in such a way that has never been done before. It had a dark and somber tone but the audio/visual stimuli that the movie uses are enough to keep your attention focused while delivering monologues in an almost stream-of-consciousness way.
I have to say that I was highly impressed by this work and I look forward to more entries of this series.
The graphics aren't really great, but the game's setup isn't really bad. It's humorous in its nature and an addition to NG that I don't thing anyone's done (not that I've checked NG for a hangman game since making that statement)
At any rate, the political satire of this game makes it worth playing more than its visual features.
Maybe it's just my keyboard, but I could not move right or left, just up and down, so it half-defeated the purpose of playing the game.
It's a good practice at flash, but it's not really that great a game.
you werent ment to move left or right, thats the point of the game!
This track would actually go very well in a dark cyberpunk action thriller.
Very dark, bassy, and well produced.
Cyberpunk eh? Thats the one with skeletal properties utilised in modern design right?
I very much like the composition side of this piece, as it has a lot of beautiful colors and tones to offer.
The production side, however, is a bit contrasting to the kind of piece this is. There are points where the compression drowns the synth pads supporting everything, which is okay for upbeat club-type music, but for ambient it almost feels as though it's choking the piece in that spot.
Still a great piece nonetheless!
Perfect execution! It gets off to a slow start (which is perfectly normal for this genre), but really nails you with speed once it gets going.
For a piece as simple as this, it creates a good fast-paced atmosphere.
Thanks for the review! Glad to see you liked it!
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