Setu-Firestorm 2008-02-25 21:33:37 (Updated 2008-02-26 10:18:12)

Actually, I have an apartment waiting. We got the okay, so I should be moving in on March 10th, which gives me 2 weeks to prepare and pack up. Furthermore, it's 45 minutes south of my hometown on the border of Tampa and St. Petersburg, so it's far enough away where my parents won't bother me.

I try to count my blessings and realize that things could be worse, because there are teenagers who come out to their parents and get thrown out of the house. So I have to consider myself fortunate that that wasn't the case with me.

One thing that everyone eventually learns about the world is that human beings, in groups, prefer to not think for themselves, and that's why some use religion to exploit that side of human nature and grab control of people's lives and attempt to control them. Another truth is that people would rather have presuppositions about things they don't understand than put forth the effort to understand them.

In my parents' case, they were raised in the church, and they're a little too grounded in what they're told to believe, so therefore, it's a "sin" to understand something that the church calls Sin when you're supposed to shut your eyes, close your ears, and run away.

The one thing about this situation that had me really frustrated was that my parents, who brought me into this world and were there as I grew up thought that me being gay meant I was going to run out and see who I can screw, and wouldn't listen to me when I tried to say "Yeah, there are gay guys who run out to see who they can screw, and there's gay guys who want a committed relationship and to live like everyone else. But you know what? Both of those groups ALSO EXIST in heterosexuality."

What you said is true. If people really stopped, backed up, and looked at heterosexuality and homosexuality with an outside, unbiased opinion, they'd realize that the only tangible difference between the two is that homosexuality doesn't bear children. Aside from that, it's the same damn thing.

Thank you for your comment and your support. I do appreciate it. It's been a not-run past few weeks, and in the next 2 as I pack, I expect it all to get gradually worse, so I'm trying to mentally prepare for it.

And just in case you don't get these responses, I'll PM it to you as well.

Setu-Firestorm 2008-03-02 04:16:16

Oh believe me, I may only be 25 years old, but I have a lot of non-conformity experience for my years (and lack thereof). I was always harassed and beat up in school my whole life because I refused to be like everyone else, and I didn't have a real friend until I met my best friend 10 years ago.

Then, within the past 6 years, I was run out of the church I served in for 4 years playing keyboards in their main band just because I refused to identify with their image (and the church was the biggest one in my county, and well over half of the entire county went there and knew who I was, so I quickly became a "marked sinner" within my own county.

So believe me when I say, that when I came out and my best friend and family freaked out about it (and my best friend won't even talk to me now), I've seen so much stress and anxiety from all of my experience in this sort of thing (not to sound emo.......too late...^_^) that all I can do to survive the mental and emotional exhaustion is to just kick my feet up and laugh. When you get that stressed out that all you can do is just laugh at the irony of it all, you understand then that life isn't about who's happy with you; but rather it's about whether or not you're happy with yourself. No one's going to account for your life but you, so there's no reason to let anyone assume that responsibility over you. I spent the first half of my life as emo as a living emo kid can get (implying that you couldn't get any more emo than I was without just killing yourself), and one thing my "growing up years" has taught me is:

It is good to cry when you need to cry, but don't make crying your life, because oftentimes you won't have a shoulder to cry on; oftentimes no one will care that you're crying, and it isn't because they're selfish and don't understand - it's because they have their own problems just like you, and they're choosing to not cry about theirs.

So I decided I was tired of crying and wanted to do something about my life to make it worth living so I would stop wishing I could die. So I examined peoples' behaviors and grew an understanding of human psychology (through some courses and having a family member working in a counseling center), and I have found that the more we understand others, the more we can be tolerant of them, because we all have skeletons in our closets; it's just that some people want everyone to not notice theirs.

So thank you for your encouragement and understanding. I've actually arrived at neutral grounds with them on this, which I was hoping for, because I'd hate to leave the house on bad grounds.

And people who judge me and other for who we are can just kiss my ass. I'm not going to explain myself to people who won't earn the knowledge and understanding for themselves, and who are guilty of sin just as easily as I am.

So, thanks again.